InnerCircle Blog

By Chris Skinner

The online dating world has millions of loving and honest people who are seriously looking for their next meaningful relationship. Unfortunately, the huge rise in popularity of online dating sites also brings an increased number of unethical people and scammers.

For years, we encouraged people to do whatever they could to stay anonymous at the beginning of any online relationship by using the following tips:

Safe Dating Tip 1 - Never give out your home address or phone number.

Safe Dating Tip 2 - Use a separate internet address for all of your dating contacts.

Safe Dating Tip 3 - Use your cell phone and/or block your number when contacting someone by phone.

These will always be good advice. However, as a person who tracks down people for a living, I feel there are some facts you need to know in order to remain safe.

Fact #1 - If someone knows your first and last name, city and state, it is likely that there will only be 5-10 possible addresses that match that information. If they know your age, that list can drop to 3 or less.

Fact #2 - If you have an unusual first name or an unusual spelling, someone could get an exact match on your address without knowing your last name.

Fact #3 – The first names of your family and friends, or simple talk about your past residences, can help pinpoint your current address. For example, there may be 100 Mary Browns, but only one who lived with a James and Karen in Ohio.

Fact #4 - Your cell or unlisted phone number by itself could lead to an exact match on your address. No name or other information required. This most often happens in cases where you used your cell phone as the contact number for a utility bill or when applying for credit.

Fact #5 – If people get your current address, they can also quickly retrieve information on the value of any property you own and a list of your relatives and other associates. In some states, they can also get make, model, and plate number of the car you drive.

So what are we saying? Don’t give your last name and don’t talk about your past or your family and friends? Absolutely not!

When you first meet a person online we are most concerned about two things.

First, a new online acquaintance could make an unannounced visit. Some people may deem a lover’s pursuit like that to be very romantic. We believe such visits are unacceptable in all cases and extremely dangerous after the pursuer has been rejected.

Second, the unethical person could use the information to target you and then play on your emotions to set you up for a scam. Such scams don’t have to be elaborate. It could just be that the person wants a quick relationship with the pretty girl he met online and uses this information to make her feel that they have many things in common.

The Solution - three MORE Safe Dating Tips to add to the ones above:

Safe Dating Tip 4 – Virtual Phone Number and Voicemail.
You should already have an email just for dating contacts. Now add a phone number and voicemail and, of course, block your number when you call them back. You can normally get the whole package of a virtual phone number, email, and voicemail that is automatically sent as a file to your email box for a few dollars per month. These and other Safe Dating Resources are at the website and blog links below.

Safe Dating Tip 5 – Make a List of What You Want to Share
Do not get caught giving out personal information when you are caught up in an online or phone conversation with someone you have never met. Make notes ahead of time on those things you are willing to talk about as well as those things you want to remain private. Also, take notes on what your online contacts know about you. You should suspect you are being manipulated if they seem to know much more about you than you know about them. Comments like “You would be surprised what I know about you.” should not be taken lightly.

Safe Dating Tip 6 – Never, Ever, Ever Give Money
If someone asks for money in any form, stop communications and contact your online dating site. That means no plane ticket to see a dying relative, no rent so they won’t get evicted and be homeless tomorrow, and no train ticket to come back early to see you this weekend.

We hope this helps you in your safe quest for meaningful relationships.

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Chris Skinner is President and Lead Investigator for InnerCircle Research Corporation and InnerCircle Blog. The company provides resources and investigations for safer online dating, background checks, child support enforcement and to locate people.

By Chris Skinner

 

Confused by all of the “Instant Background Check” hype? Maybe you’re frustrated because you tried “free” or low-cost access to public records but the information you received wasn’t worth much either. If this describes you, then this article should help.

 

No, I don’t represent a public records information company. I am also not another of those “don’t get scammed on background checks” scams where I try to convince you to purchase access to my outdated database of questionable information at the end of the article.

 

I am, however, an investigator who has used many of the top public records services to physically track down hundreds of people for civil and criminal court matters. I have also wasted more dollars and hours on the road being led to wrong or outdated addresses. What follows are the basics of discussions I found myself having everyday with my clients and others who have found themselves in the same situation.

 

You Already Know an Internet Search Engine Has Its Limits

If you are reading this, I will assume you are at least vaguely familiar with internet search engines. When you enter search words like “background check”, the search engine combs through millions of pieces of data to try to bring back the most relevant sites. In most instances you get what you need, but, you still have to weed through results where the “background check” site is a place where you choose the actual background color on the checks you get from the bank and not a site where you can get personal information.

 

In the same way, background check databases sift through millions of pieces of information. Some of that information may have a name and address (utility bill) or maybe a name and date of birth (some court records).  Most records do not have enough information to definitively connect it to other pieces of information.  In order to tie those data together, the database uses a process similar to your internet search engine with, in many cases, similar results.

 

You probably would not consider believing every fact in every article on the first page of internet search results. Instead, you would probably try to see which articles really apply to your search and then determine which facts in which articles you can actually verify, believe and use. You have to use the same approach of human intervention, quality control, and filtering when analyzing data from personal records databases in order to have any substantial success.

 

I Thought I was Unique – I’m Not!

Like most people, I have never met anyone with my same first and last name. However, it shocked me to know that in the state of Texas there are 167 of “me”. That means when I visit Texas, there is another “me” within 40 miles of wherever I am. What really shocked me is that 71 of the Texan “me”s are also about my age.

 

In my defense I then convinced myself that they really aren’t “me” because “me” is my age with my middle initial. Unfortunately I had to then learn there are 9 “me”s in the country with my first name, middle initial and last name, who are also within 2 years of my age. Since then I no longer hope for unique, now I just hope that all of those “me”s have good credit and pay all of their speeding tickets.

 

Coincidences, and lack of coincidental data, can easily make two people look like one, split one person into two, or link two unrelated people.  I have seen entire family trees linked because John Doe’s mom is Jane Doe who lives 200 miles away, but John is linked to a second Jane Doe who is only 50 miles away.

 

The James Browne Effect

Consider a fictitious family: James Robert (Dad) and Joan (Mom) along with their sons James Robert Jr. and Ronald John. Now imagine a bucket filled with 100 of their public records you need to match with the correct person. The names on those records are Joan, James, Robert, Bert, Jim, Bob, Jim Bob, John, Jack, Ronald, Ron, Ronny, Bobby, Johnny, Jimmy, Jay, JR, RJ and Butch.  To confuse things more, half of the records have the last name “Brown” and the other half “Browne”.  One more thing – the father’s Uncle Ron Browne shared the same address for 5 years and now lives a block away.

 

Unfortunately, anyone who tracks people for a living will tell you that this seemingly outrageous example is very close to the norm.  In fact, where I have seen this most is when one or more people in a family are involved in criminal activity and the confusion is intentional. For example, neither James Browne Sr. nor Jr. has a record, but, Robert Browne and a James Brown both have felony records. Criminals also use other intentional misrepresentations that look like typing errors such as using a 1 instead of a 7 in their social security number.

 

Not all Phone Books are Created Equal

“Find Anyone’s Phone Number and Address– Millions Available” is the ad which I may or may not admit I responded to on several occasions. At the time I never thought to ask – which phone numbers?

 

a.  Historical - Every number in every phone book in the US for the past 10 years.

b.  Current - Every current phone number as reported by every phone company in the US as of this morning and updated hourly.

c.  Relational – Every phone number people put down on utility bills and credit reports.

 

The answer is critical because all of them are needed. In most cases, people never ask. When you do ask – I can tell you that the reps at the company providing the data won’t know the answer for sure or will make one up.

 

Take, for example, the recent trend in promoting “cell phone directories”. A reasonable person could believe that such a database would be the current records as reported by each cell phone company. In the instance I know about - you would be wrong. As confirmed by one of their company reps on a TV news show – the records they have come from self-reported cell phone numbers that people used as references on other records. How long ago the number was reported and whether or not the number is active is unknown by them.

 

 

The 5 Hard Lessons Learned on Background Checks

 

1. Use an Investigator

From the examples above, you can see why I laugh when anyone tells me about an “instant” computer background check.  Good background checks take interaction between the requestor and investigator. The results naturally raise more questions than they answer.

 

2. Expertise is Invaluable

In order to get the right answer, you have to know what to ask. One common mistake is when someone is checking for past spousal or child violence by researching criminal records. If the person was actually convicted of beating or molesting there should be a criminal record. However, in many states protection from abuse and restraining orders are civil matters – not criminal. Ask the wrong question and even a good answer could put someone in jeopardy.

 

3. A Full Check on a Person is Only Half of What is Needed

People’s lives are webs of relationships with family and friends. It does little good to perform a background check on only the daycare provider when her husband is a registered sex offender.

 

4. No Guarantee – No Deal

You should not have to pay for incorrect or outdated information. You don’t pay for shoes first and then see if they have the style and size you need. Finding people and background checks should be no different except that you may need to pay the investigator some small fee for the effort of trying.

 

5. Never Give Them Financial Information

It amazes me when people know I have access to most if not all of their personal records and then turn around and want to give me their credit card or other banking information. The company that maintains access to both is asking for an identity theft nightmare.

 

I hope this helps you more fully understand the situations surrounding background checks. Please visit our blog if you have further questions.

 

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Chris Skinner is President and Chief Investigator for InnerCircle Research Corporation - a company dedicated to providing guaranteed background checks and tracking people for serving legal actions and Child Support Enforcement.  See this and more resources by visiting us at www.ICBackgroundCheck.com.